The Chosen One

This one... this one needs some explaining. This is a long story, so bear with me. Or just look at the drawing and shrug; I won't judge.
So my friend and I started this thing a while back with this fictional chick who is the embodiment of everything that is wrong in the world. Her name is Tanya, and it began with merely blaming the little things that went wrong with our days on this person. This rapidly spun out of control, and she assumed responsibility for everything from getting gum stuck on a shoe to the entropy that slowly ends the universe.

So tonight we started one of these conversations with Tanya eating a child and then vomiting poverty over the world. Tanya's blames started piling up, as did her mythical aspects. Her skin is made of adamantium and her soul is made of barbed wire and rotting cheese. You must never speak her name aloud or she will smell it on her breath and the only way to appease her is to burn your tears on a candle made of seal blubber. This led to the creation of Miss. Snugglesworth, a motherly seal who would make us chocolate chip cookies and tell us bedtime stories. When my friend accidentally spoke the name, she refused to make a candle of Miss. Snugglesworth and we decided that if she stopped breathing and someone brought her back, it would be ok because she wouldn't have her breath anymore. So Miss Snugglesworth brought her back, but got the name-tainted breath in her own mouth, so the One Who Hungers (Tanya) destroyed her. Distraught, we sought to end the reign of terror and all of a sudden our series of jokes turned into an epic Facebook chat adventure to find the son of Miss Snugglesworth and a Munchkin cat, frozen in the icy caverns of Antarctica, for he was the One Cute Enough to Lead Us All, the only creature left alive on the planet that, through the power of soulful eyes and derpy body structure, could unite the human race against the Force that Kept Us Trapped In Underground Caverns, Fearing the Days She Eats Chili.

So basically, during our hours long chat adventure (which included referencing actual world maps to plot our fictional journey to the Antarctic) I pulled up Photoshop to draw The Chosen One to surprise her when she reached the end of our journey.

I should have been asleep hours ago.